I hate it how when i write it seems so pretentious. Like writing is so unnatural to me that when i sit down and do it, no matter what comes out seems like it is someone else's voice and not mine. I never feel like my words contain the desired quality of thought that is in my mind. "I never feel like my words contain the desired quality of thought that is in my mind" - what they hell does that mean? So fucking pretentious. If i were me, and if i were good at being me, i would write the following:
I feel sticky and i need to shower
even though i have complained about the awful cold weather, i feel drained in this heat
my nephew is downstairs and i feel guilty i don't spend enough time with him when he is over
My sister disgusts me and i don't see the point in talking to her about anything to do with her health, because i know she will just lie in response, and make up bullshit excuses and waste my breath and my time
I feel sorry for my dad and my sister and my nephew.
Of late i can't be arsed to see any of my friends, and i feel as 2010 winds up, i am increasingly anti-social.
The thought of an overseas trip tickles my insides.
They are my thoughts right now, at this moment. Not recently, but just at 16:37. Unfettered, un-pretty. And unpretentious.
