souvlaki

you stood and sung and i sat and watched as garlic sauce leaked out of my not-so-tightly woven souvlaki, fertilising my forearms.

And you stood and sung and people walked and watched and your eyes closed and you stood and sung and i watched people walk past and wondered how they could not stop - just for a moment.

Freud

Sometimes i get so weak and so loud and so tentative that i waver and feel a breath away from slipping into mania.
I have come from this lush field and every now and then i dabble and get closer untill retreating to my safety. I fear one day i will end up crazy and so i arm myself with knowledge about how the human being works. Foreign creatures...
Freud studied psychology as a faculty which assumes humans are broken and i think he was wrong. Rogers observed an ivy crawl up the leg of a chair (in an underground chamber) desperate to find the sun that would feed it's growth. He concluded humans are like the ivy. That we strive, whilst we are at times teetering on the edge of mania, we are not broken but armed with everything we ever need to overcome and to flourish.
I was asked tonight what i thought love was -
i think it is not something you 'gain', but something you 'lose'. (Did someone say this to me?) To love is to lose control. To fall. To slip into mania.

And then i left you to come home and your face was crumpled and your skin was so inviting and i think that's when nature took over. I wanted to engulf you, to envelope you, not with my mind, but with every wave of nature that flushes and charges my body.